I want to apologize for being missing in action. I have all but fallen off of the proverbial blogsophere earth. I feel like a walking cliché, but I have been busy. I have been at home full time for about six months now and my perception of stay at home moms has totally changed.
When I first started staying home I figured I would be “busy” but I really didn’t know how busy I would be. We (speaking for working moms) have all been around THOSE stay at home moms who always profess to be so, so, so busy. I, for one, used to get quite annoyed with them. Seeing them at the gym complaining on the treadmill how busy their day was going to be. Emailing them to schedule play dates and hearing them spew out obscure dates and times because they were so busy. I used to get really annoyed. What the heck were they busy doing?! I guess that I never really understood how someone who “only” had one job (staying at home) could be so busy, especially since as a working mom I had two jobs (and yes, in my head, I felt that on a busy scale a working mom would always trump a stay at home mom in terms of how busy we were).
Of course, I despise the whole Mommy War debate, and I do (and did) think that all moms work, but when I was working outside of the home, I felt that working moms had a slight leg up on the busy scale.
But, can I just say that I, Marquette Heaven, am a stay at home mom, and I am busy. I hate to even say it because I know how obnoxious it can sound. I know I am fortunate to be able to stay at home, but I also know that I am busy. I am busy doing stuff — so busy that I try to think about how it would be to work outside the home again and I don’t even think I would have time. I have found that staying at home is nonstop. I knew that it would be but it is demonstrated every day. My type A personality is probably not best suited for this career change hence why I am so busy. I have been busy doing things that I never had time to do before, and a lot of it I will admit are nice to dos and not necessarily need to dos. I make hot breakfasts for my family every morning. I clean the house from top to bottom every day. I volunteer at the kids’ schools. I step up to help out more for the kids’ activities. I make healthy meals for dinner. I actually go to the doctor for myself the moment I feel sick. I organize parts of my house that I forgot even existed. I help the kids’ with their homework. I make sure that I get in a few precious minutes of exercise each day, etc.
I feel horrible for ever, ever, ever judging other moms — those who work outside of the home, those who stay at home, those who let their daughters wear princess tutus every day, even those who forget to scream at their kids to sneeze into their sleeve (ok maybe I don’t forgive THOSE moms), because no matter how you Mother, Mothering redefines the term “busy work”.