Tag Archives: Kids (House)

Mompiphany #44: It’s Not On The List!

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pen and paper

What a hot, hot, hot, hot mess. I have not posted in so long. I would blame it on the fact that I have been busy, that the kids have been running me ragged, that my house is the most organized and clean that it has ever been (ok, that is a little white lie), that I have been busy developing lungs and other vital body parts for my unborn baby, but instead, I will say that I have not posted because I have not been feeling IT. I am not a fake-the-funk kind of girl when it comes to this blog, my relationships, friendships or any other “-ship” or “ish” for that matter.  If I don’t feel it, I can’t fake it.  Hopefully you all won’t hold it against me.  Enough about me though…..

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I have been busy getting things ready for the holiday: house, menu, patience, stamina, etc, and  I have really started thinking about all of the many things in my life that I have to be thankful for.  In all of this thankfulness, I am struck with how much excess is in my house. I pride myself on being the anti-hoarder.   If you enjoy a glass of water at my house, set it down and look for the cup (within 5 minutes or so)  it is probably already in the dishwasher.  So how on earth did I end up with so much STUFF in my house??? By not following my own cardinal rule — the rule that I scream at my kids anytime we are at Target: IT’S NOT ON THE LIST!

Generally when I take the kids shopping it is for a purpose.  We need something: toilet paper, shoes, stool softener ( you know important stuff). I made up this rule because wherever we go my kids are able to find at least something that they want… who knew that the laxative aisle would look so appealing to little eyes.  Anyway, before we go into stores, I usually tell them not to ask for anything because I am only going to buy what is on the list.  And, when I am with them I am very good about sticking to my list.  But, as I perused their closets and their playroom, I recognize that the problem with excess in my house is all my fault.

When I am out (solo) I often buy things for the kids/home, etc, because it is nice, cute, on sale, blah blah blah and the items begin to accumulate. I checked, and my middle daughter, Mckinley, has 3 winter coats. THREE. I know that there are some kids who don’t have one (and no wonder my kids are not too distraught when they lose things… they know that Mommy most likely has a replacement at the ready).  I am thankful for my life and all of the blessings that we have, but I am also ashamed by the level of excess that I have allowed to accumulate. I am making a new resolution to make sure that I only get things that we need. Am I am going to start living like a black Amish Mother? No, but I do think that I can make a more concerted effort to stop wasting and stop indulging in things that we don’t need and the kids don’t want or appreciate it.

I know this is going to be hard as I was just in A.C. Moore and saw so many things that could keep my kids quiet for hours on end.  But, I opted against indulging, wrote the items down and will come back to buy them as part of their Christmas gifts (and when I have my trusty coupons). See, restraint looks good on me!

Mompiphany #27: Don’t Like It? Don’t Eat It.

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A dinner table with wooden chairs in a living ...

This is what I say at the I start of every single meal with my kids. With three very distinct taste buds under one roof finding meals that everyone likes and are quasi-healthy is almost impossible. I know I sound like most moms when I say that it is beyond frustrating when you spend time (be it 5 minutes or 55 minutes) cooking only to have a few pint-sized food critics turn up their noses at what you’ve prepared and request nuggets.

The food battle in my house is exacerbated by my husband. When he is home, he walks into the pantry, grabs a snack, and feeds them to the kids who are trained like Pavlov’s dogs. My kids have gone as far as to run down the driveway while my husband is pulling his car out just to ask for snacks (even when I am standing in the kitchen) because they know that daddy will say yes to anything and that mommy offers up fruit as a suitable snack.

Snacks aside, long ago I decided that I would not cook for the kids because they are so fickle. Even if I cook something that I know that they like, there is still no guarantee that they will eat it. So now I cook for me and my husband, and if the kids happen to want to eat it, that’s a bonus. I menu plan each week, and I do ask for their input (and it is not like I am cooking chitlins and beets) but if they don’t like what I cook, they don’t have to eat it. They can help themselves to a fruit or vegetable. This approach to dealing with my pint-sized food critics has been beyond liberating. If I had a bra that was decent enough to show in public, I would probably burn it in a public display of freedom in front of Harris Teeter.

My kids are well fed and healthy without me catering to their picky-ness. Well-balanced meals are a luxury that not all kids can afford and having confirmed with my pediatrician, I know that kids can go several days without eating before suffering any major ailments so I don’t feel the least bit guilty if the kids are not feeling the whole wheat pasta bake that I made.

So, on the menu tonight: slow cooker bbq chicken on whole wheat hamburger buns, homemade baked fries, and steamed broccoli. No likey? No problem – don’t eat it. That leaves more for me. I feel as free as a bird I tell you.  How do you deal with the picky eaters at your house?

Mompiphany #25: Nothing Wrong With Faking It

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I don’t just sit around thinking about how I should put myself before the kids, although I did just tell you all a few ways that I do. For the most part, I work hard to make sure that everyone’s everything is ready and perfect. I pride myself on being able to remember activities, anniversaries, milestones, my kids’ friend’s names and the like, but sometimes in order to get the important things done you have to cut corners.

I used to be one of those overachievers who felt the need to do everything from scratch but after watching a few episodes of that table-scape, cocktail-loving Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade, I realized that she is really on to something more than her next mixed drink. She has perfected the art of faking it.

It is absolutely fine to cut corners every now and then if it makes your life easier. For example, I used to make homemade soup if someone in my family was sick, but guess what? They like Panera’s soup better, and I can spend 5 minutes getting it instead of all day making it. I used to go to Michael’s Craft Stores and spend a boatload of money for the kids’ crafts and projects. I now know that duct tape and egg cartons are just as artsy and, more importantly, are cheap.

The funny thing about being a mom is that much of it is about faking it. For things that don’t need the full 100%, why not just give a solid 50% if it makes your family’s life easier.

Here is my list of things that help me fake it ’til I make it:

1. Paper Plates: I don’t use them all of the time, but when I do I am infinitely happier about meal clean up.

2. Mismatched Socks: It took me a while to be comfortable but now I don’t even bother trying to match the kids’ socks. I throw them in their drawers and leave it up to my kids to figure it out for themselves. I distinctly remember paying a pretty penny for crazy socks at Justice last year so I am just going with the trend.

3. Cleaning Lady: Once I stopped working outside of the home I considered getting rid of our cleaning lady. After one month of cleaning every single day and being obsessively proprietary over the clean toilets that I had scrubbed, I decided that our cleaning lady will always be a nonnegotiable line item on our budget. Always.

4. Early Bedtimes: After a particularly challenging day I have ridiculously early bedtimes for my kids. The earliest I have put them to bed was 6 pm. We all were very well rested the following day.

5. After School Activities: I am in the camp that the overscheduled child is the happy child. If your child likes activities why not sign them up for a lot of them? An afternoon without scheduled activities at my house with my 3 crazies bouncing off the walls and their beds is inviting an ER visit…for one of them or me.

6. Snacks For Lunch: I used to pride myself on making a well-balanced lunch with all of the food groups, but now I just pack snacks (some of which are healthy)  for them. That is what my kids want to eat anyway and it helps to make sure that they don’t waste food or mommy’s time.

7. TV: I have a love/hate relationship with TV. I really do limit my kids’ television intake. In fact, sometimes they can go a week without even turning it on. But when I do “need” them to watch it if I have to get something done, the television is my best friend.

8. Great neighbors: Of course, I know where to borrow eggs and brown sugar, but my neighbors have also helped out picking my child up from the bus stop while I was stuck in traffic. They have let me know that I forgot to close my garage door and brought over casseroles at the birth of each of my kids.  Great neighbors make life infinitely easier.

9. High School Baby Sitters: Having good, cheap sitters is a luxury that many cannot afford. But if you can, it certainly makes your life easier. I used to drag all of my kids to everything: my annual gynecological exam, the grocery store, etc. Now I just take them places where I know that they can behave.

10. Cereal For Dinner: Some nights it is just the easiest thing to cook.

How do you fake it? Let me know!