My husband recently received a promotion at work. While I could not be more proud of him, I realized that, at jobs around the world, dutiful employees are gearing up for end-of-year reviews, celebrating promotions, and looking forward to the bounty of bonuses and raises. So I started thinking: It is a crop of bull@#$% that stay-at-home moms don’t get reviews, promotions or raises. Like seriously…. everyone I know agrees with me when I angrily state that being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job ever and while we do get paid in love, hugs and projectile vomit, we are not exactly making the Fortune 500 bucks when you work at a job where you do not get compensated with actual money. So, I told my husband that I plan to put some time on his calendar to go over my job performance and talk about a promotion and wage increase (and I am not kidding in the least).
I have graded myself on a few things: Are all of the kids accounted for? Is the house somewhat intact? Does everyone at least have clean underwear (if nothing else) to wear? Are the meals edible? On all of my job responsibilities I feel that I have exceeded expectations and in some cases have gone above and beyond the scope of my job. I mean really…. just because I am a stay-at-home mom does that really mean I need to be the one to stay-at-home for Every.Single.Solitary repairman that comes?
And, since I started this gig, I have not taken a true vacation. And, even though Tuesday is my self-appointed “day off,” inevitably someone’s bottom needs to be wiped, someone’s lunch needs to be made, and someone’s homework has been left on the counter requiring me to bring it to them at school. I have assumed my role as a stay-at-home with a fair amount of grace and a slight amount of red-in-the-face screaming, but through it all, I have never given up, looked for a new job or thought about adding a very strong laxative in my boss’s dinner when he suggests that I am being a little too hard on the kids when I tell them to put their dirty clothes IN their hampers.
So, yes, my husband received a promotion, but I think we all know that if I did not do my job, there is no way that he could successfully do his.
And, regardless of what my husband grades me, I know that I am doing the best that I can so I hereby give myself a promotion, a bonus and a raise.
Here’s to upward mobility!