Ok, I am going to venture (briefly) into a new territory for my blog. Race. For the most part, I don’t particularly think that race matters when it comes to being a Mother or trying to navigate through the parenthood. Kids don’t discriminate in their ability to wake up every 2 hours sending new parents in an equal state of hallucinations and happiness. Kids don’t play the race card when they don’t have anything to say to you all day until the moment your phone rings and then it is Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Kids and their experiences, especially when they are young, are all pretty similar, except for when it comes to swimming.
Now I will say that I grew up in a predominately white suburb of Boston and my parents placed a huge emphasis on the importance of being able to swim. My mom did not (and still does not) know how to swim, but my Dad is a great swimmer and both my parents enrolled my sister in and I swimming lessons and made sure that our summer camps taught instructional swim. Now that I am older and have kids, I am so thankful that they had the foresight to know how important knowing how to swim is. Dunking a ball, scoring a goal, getting a touch down and running a fast race are all accolades that kids can pat themselves on the back for but none of those accomplishments will ever save their lives. Knowing how to swim is really a matter of life and death, but unfortunately for many black kids this emphasis is not stressed at an early age and I can absolutely see why. Hair.
Hair you ask? Yes, hair. If you have any knowledge of black hair you may know that while it can be beyond gorgeous and very versatile, it can be very, very, very time consuming. A lot of black Moms that I speak to just do not want to have to deal with the hair aftermath of a few hours in chlorine, and I can’t say that I blame them. Despite, the hair, I have made it a priority that my kids will not only learn how to swim, they will love to swim and hopefully end up life guarding at a local pool to help pull their weight around here (it is all about a return on our investment!)
In the summer, the kids and I go to the pool everyday and long after I say good-bye to my pool friends (mostly people who are not black) I am in my house washing with a nourishing shampoo, deep conditioning, detangling, moisturizing, styling and then drying my two daughters hair. This whole process for both girls takes me close to two hours. Everyday, I spend 120 minutes doing my daughters hair so that they can go back in the pool the next day and we can repeat this process for the 73 days of summer (but whose counting.)
I am not telling you my kids summer hair routine so that I can get sympathy or be entered to win a year’s supply of Kinky Curly products (although Lord knows I would love that) I am telling you to shed a little insight on something you may not know about. My ah-ha moments often come when trying to put myself in someone else’s shoes and for the summer my shoes happen to be part hair stylist, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.


I love thinking about how close you must feel to your girls after all that special treatment, too! Although my daughter is white,and her hair was probably way easier to deal with, I remember how much both of us loved the times when I would sit behind her combing, braiding, twisting, detangling…..Brings back good memories!
Hopefully my girls will look back fondly and remember all of this closeness. Right now, they just appreciate the fact that it is the one time of day that they get to watch the show of their choice. Thanks for sharing your experiences as well!!!
So interesting that I make the time to “follow” this evening, just in time to read today’s post. This after searching for products even youtubing “braiding and twisting techniques” for my 14 month old! My years of wearing a conservative bun are of no help in this new arena. Accepting product recommendations, strategies to shift the screaming as my hands approach her head to a more positive, peaceful partnership are welcomed:-)
Tasha I am so glad that this was timely for you. One of my friends taught me how to braid when Marlee was 18 months. It took me a while to practice but I would be lost without it. We love Kinky Curly products as well as Miss Jessies (although Miss Jessies are very heavy), you really have to try out some different ones to see which works best on your curly girl.
The one thing is that I always make sure the girls know how beautiful their hair is, even if I am getting frustrated trying to manage it I never let them see that. I want them to love themselves from head to toe and as you can attest hair can be a sore (literally) point for many young girls!