When I take all three of my kids out in public, people often stop us and comment on how well behaved my kids are. I always smile and politely say, “thank you” while lovingly glancing at my precious little cherubs. Little do our admirers know that before I even think about leaving the house with my three crazies, I always have what I affectionately call “the pep talk.”
I am comfortable taking my kids pretty much anywhere: the zoo, plays, movies, parks, festivals, museums, the mall, the grocery store, the gynecologist, etc. For me, it is nothing to marvel at. I know that my husband’s schedule is demanding, and I like to make sure that the kids are as busy as possible so when we want to get up and go somewhere the fact that I often have to take all three of my kids by myself does not slow me down in the least. I owe all of this confidence to the pep talk. Like any good team captain, it is imperative to have plays in line that will ensure a winning outcome.
The pep talk usually starts out like this: Do I need to remind anyone of how we need to act when we are in public today??? To which they all begrudgingly say, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” I ignore their tone and begin my rousing, motivational speech (SIDE NOTE: I am all about rousing, having been a varsity cheerleader in high school.):
“If anyone runs off without asking me, we will go home. If anyone pees their pants (MILLER!!) because they are too busy to stop to use the bathroom, we will go home. If anyone complains about the (healthy) snacks that Mommy has packed for this outing, you will be subjected to water and fruit for the duration of our excursion to [fill in blank place]. If you whine or cry about the fact that I will not buy any crap from any souvenir shops, you will have to donate your most coveted toy to the Salvation Army when we get home. If you fight with one another, you will have to do a public kissing and hugging session with the other offending party for at least 5 minutes, regardless of who is watching and where we are (the 8 year old particularly loves that one.) If you embarrass our family name in anyway, we will never, ever leave our house again.”
The pep talk always ends with a cheerful, “Now let’s go out and have some fun! Go Team Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Works like a charm I tell ya!
lol! I love it. I often have mini-pep talks with my little one before we go places, too. But I don’t have that extra pep that you do. I’ll practice.
Rah rah! She’s well-behaved and fun to take out, but I do the pep just in case one horrible day she decides to bust out antics all because I failed to lecture, er, pep talk her before we left the house.
It is all about the extra pep especially when the stakes are high. LOL!
I love this! Going to print this off for the future. (Lane can barely talk right now, but this could be helpful a few years down the road.)
Thanks so much for your comment. I figured my little pep talk is something that is good to have handy in the Mommy arsenal. I took my three kids to amusement park today (by myself) and the pep talk that I gave was something for the record books. Ha!
I LOVE the pep talk! My kids are usually pretty good, but it never hurts to keep a few tricks up the sleeve, especially the forced toy donation.
That is the part of the talk that always garners the most attention. I have yet to really follow through on that one. I usually just hide the toy and end up forgetting where I hid it.