I have noticed lately that as much as I pride myself on being there for my kids,
most of the time I am not truly present.  Now that I stay at home, I am with my
kids a lot more, especially since my 5 and 3 year old are now in preschool
part-time. When I worked outside of the home, I swore that when I was a stay at
home mom I would be more present because I wouldn’t feel tugged in so many
directions, e.g., work, kids, husband, etc.

But now that I am home with my kids, I find myself creeping over to the computer
to see what is going on with other people’s kids on Facebook when my own kids
are playing tug of war with an open container of bubbles.  I find myself
watching a movie with my kids but instead of sitting down to actually watch the
movie with them, I turn the movie on, make enough popcorn to keep them busy for
a few minutes, and then putter around the kitchen sweeping for the umpteenth
time, instead of just sitting with them and enjoying the show.

I incessantly take pictures when we are in the house, at the park, at the zoo,
on vacation, etc.   But, I am so busy taking pictures of the memories we are
making that I don’t have time to participate in making the memories.

What I am starting to realize is that just because you are home more does not
mean that you are really home (and Lord knows that when my kids start bickering
or someone asks me to help wipe their butt home is the last place that I want to
be).

So, in this “aha!” moment, like only a true type A person like myself can do, I have decided
to add to my to-do list.  I, Marquette Heaven, am vowing to be more
present when I am spending time with my kids.

I am going to try to stop and smell the roses.  I can’t promise, however, that
after I smell the roses, I won’t clean any finger print smudges off of the vase,
reposition them, and clean off the table.

Baby steps, baby steps……